3 years!!

I can't believe Jake has been home for 3 years ago last night... I will always remember that day as if it was yesterday... Even though that year was so so long now I look back and think it went by so fast... sometimes I have to ask myself if he even went cause it all just seems like a dream. So glad to have him home and safe and that I am able to get a hold of him and talk to him, hug him, kiss him....anytime I want.So glad he got to be here for the birth of Pais and for her little life thus far.. I don't know how people do it when their husbands are gone for their kids life... Happy 3 years babe! You are my hero!
--I feel so bad I forgot my camera for this years Memorial Day.. We had such a good day amongst all our loved ones. This year was a little different having 2 of our very close family members pass away so we all went up to Mayfields Cemetary. I couldn't help but think of all my family members that have passed on as well as Jake's family.... and of course the thought of my mom. My cousin sent me a picture last night as she does every year around memorial day of the front and back of my moms grave..This picture above was takin the day Jake flew out to Iraq.... such a hard day in my life but visiting my mothers grave ( and I don't get to lots) always bring me peace and comfort.  A part of me  still has not gotten over the death of my mother... and maybe it was cause I was so young and only grew up with people telling me stories of her and seein pics of her. I need to move on from that and have closure and I have seen many home videos of her but there is one I havent been able to watch yet and thats her funeral and I think I'm ready to watch it.... when Aunt Debra died  she was the youngest one in both of my families to die that I have been older to understand.. and just to see that and have her die still young and have these little grandkids still having so much life left to live it really hit home to me and I could only imagine what it would have been like to be 29 and die.. Jake is comin up on 29 this year and thats just so weird for me to even think he will be her age when she left..... Im ready for closure and I of course will always have her with me but their is lots that I need to let go of.. I'm so grateful for everyone of my loved ones that have gone on-- my grandma and grandpa blad-- Grandpa knott-- and Grandpa Jack, Aunt Debra and Aunt Michelle. As I always say when I talk about this is I am so grateful that we can be families forever... I am so in love with that that. It makes me want to be a better person everyday.. Hope everyone had a good memorial day rememberin their loved ones and the ones that fought for us and died for us..:)